A. The Clippers have lost 12 of their last 13 road games.If you follow this site regularly, I really don't need to give you the answer, do I?
B. The Clippers have lost 12 of their last 14 games overall.
C. They are who we thought they were.
D. Nobody gives a shit about Big Foot.
Here's Washington's starting lineup: Shawn Livingston, Nick Young, Mike Miller, Fabricio Oberto, and Andray "Mr. Maturity" Blatche. I do believe they are challenging that lineup Chicago trotted out a few weeks ago (featuring the immortal Acie Law) for worst lineup of the year.Although you cannot see or near my vigorous nodding, that doesn't mean it isn't happening.
Over at Basketbawful, I've spent the last year-plus making fun of New Jersey's Devin Harris for saying "We knew we were going to be a playoff team" back in December of 2008. Since Devin crammed his foot into his mouth with that unfortunate statement, the Nets have gone 34-104 and become one of the worst teams in NBA history.In related news, the Bulls suffered a 111-105 home defeat to the Phoenix Suns that may prove catastrophic to their playoff chances. Coincidence? I think not.
As stat curses go, that’s up there with the best of them, so you can imagine how I felt when Basketbawful reader godhimself48 drew my attention to Chicago's very own Derrick Rose pulling a Devin Harris.
Said Rose: "We're still going to make it. You can't think about stuff like [not making the playoffs]. In my mind, we'll be making the eighth spot. We'll be playing LeBron [James] — playing Cleveland. The closer we get, the [more] I'm going to think that. We can't walk around acting like we're not going to make it, because that's when things turn on you. Our biggest goal is to make the playoffs, and we're going to make it."
Admittedly, what Rose said isn't as bad as what Harris predicted less than 20 games into his team's 2008-09 season. If anything, it seems like Derrick is using positive visualization. Still…I'd rather he just let his game do the talking and leave the psychic visions to Miss Cleo.
Thunder-Sixers: Kyle Weaver dreamed up a brick from Jeweler's Row and added two fouls for a +3 suck differential in 4:13.
Suns-Bulls: Chris Richard fouled once in 46 seconds after making contact with a Piranha Plant, resulting in a +1 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl in a duration that also earned a MARIO!
Clippers-Bucks: The John Salmons Era rolled on tonight with Primoz Brezec being fished from the roster as the human victory cigar of the moment, bricking and fouling once each in 3:34 for a +2 that also earned a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.
Bullets-Rockets: Former East Oaklander Cartier Martin explored the ledger for his newest team, firing off a brick from Heritage Plaza and popping out a pair of fouls for a +3 in exactly 6 minutes!!!
"We're still going to make it. You can't think about stuff like [not making the playoffs]. In my mind, we'll be making the eighth spot. We'll be playing LeBron -- playing Cleveland."Ruh roh.
Anthony didn't agree that Marion made a major impact in the Mavs' 109-93 victory over the Denver Nuggets at American Airlines Center. What about Anthony's awful shooting (3-of-16 from the floor) in his 10-point performance? According to Anthony, that was the product of constant double-teams and getting poked in the eye during the first quarter, not Marion's terrific individual defensive performance.I and choking on all the irony and unintentional comedy in those quotes.
"Not being funny," Anthony said, "but I don't think he did nothing but play his game."
Melo's offensive numbers in those losses: 13 points per game on 8-of-35 shooting.
Games like this are what attracted Marion to the Mavs. He wanted to play for high stakes, and he thrives on the challenge of guarding stars, especially Anthony.
"Shoot, that was my All-Star spot," said Marion, a four-time All-Star whose most recent appearance on the NBA's midseason stage came in 2007. "Truth be told, it still should be mine.
"I'm taking nothing away from him. I think he's talented as hell.
"But that's not even what it boils down to. Right now, I'm at the point of my career when I want to win a championship."
Eddy Curry saw a few teammates stifle their laughter as he explained his latest injury and couldn’t help but chuckle, too.I, for one, cannot wait.
"I swear," he insisted, "I’m not making this up."
"It was freak, man," Curry said of the injury, which he started to feel just days before he was expected to be back in the lineup March 10 against the Spurs. "Stuff that happens to me, I don’t really understand."
That stuff includes a separate obscure injury to the left calf -- torn plantaris muscle -- which happened on the first day of training camp. Then there was the surgery on his left knee on Jan. 18, which came a month after the last game he appeared in this season. Curry sulked after Mike D'Antoni removed him from the rotation after a Dec. 17 loss in Chicago, where Curry's presence -- for the second straight game -- disrupted the team’s offensive flow.
Curry, however, said he doesn’t think his Knicks career could be over.
"No, not at all," he said. "I still have got to work hard this summer and prove myself next year."
Spurs-Nyets: Antonio McDyess made five boards in 21:06 but fouled four times and thricely lost the rock for a 7:5 Voskuhl.
Nuggets-Mavs: Anthony Carter bricked once from the Old Red Courthouse and also added a foul and giveaway in 3:14 for a +3 suck differential. For Mark Cuban's tax writeoff, DeShawn Stevenson tossed two pieces of masonry in 2:08 and fouled once for a +3 of his own.
Now, is it just me or is this picture missing something? Doesn't it just seem like he should be rocking exposed chest hair and a gold chain and medallion?
Hold on while I fire up Photoshop...
There. That's better. It's subtle and understated, but looks right at home, doesn't it? (Thankfully your computer can't transmit scents, or you would be overwhelmed by a mix of cheap aftershave and old man funk.)
Alright, now let's get to the rest of the ridiculous pictures. A lot of material to work with this weekend.
Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:
Labels: Bawful After Dark
Seriously Detroit, what's your deal? You were so worried about the Nets becoming the worse team in NBA history that you had to tank the game just so they couldn't get in the history books. It's almost like you want people to remember that your football team ran the table in reverse (0-16), your home state college team (Michigan State) gagged last year in the NCAA title game hosted in your city, the Red Wings caved in the Stanley Cup Finals last year, The Tigers were blitzed in the 2006 World Series or that your vaunted Michigan Wolverines invalidated their college football card by losing to a Division 2 school. We get it. Your city sucks, your state sucks. It has for years. But now that another state has threatened to take the mantle of "worst in America" via a god-awful basketball team and some a-hole called "The Situation," you step up and ruin their hopes and dreams by proving that no matter how much they suck, you suck worse. Thanks. If Jerome Bettis started to claim that he was from Pittsburgh, I don't think anyone would complain at this point.Well...that was deserved.
Bosh finished with 18 points and 12 rebounds, which, on the surface, was no disgrace. But while Anthony and Billups shone with the game on the line, Bosh wilted. It was Bosh who fumbled a rebound of Anthony's missed free throw with 38 seconds left to give Billups that chance at a game-tying trey. (And okay, call that a bad bounce.) It was Bosh who missed his first of two free throws with 16 seconds left. (And okay, misses happen.)Am I sniffing too much glue, or is Bosh putting his tippy toes into Vince Carter territory? The Toronto press sure seems to think so.
But the truth is, Bosh could have lifted the Raptors to a win with even the slightest of fourth-quarter effort. Instead, while he was given the ball repeatedly down the stretch, he chose every option but aggression. He missed four of the five shots he deigned to attempt in the fourth quarter, most of them jumpers. And he got to the free-throw line for all of four attempts all night, making good on only two.
This spoke to a larger and troubling trend. Bosh is averaging 6.2 free-throw attempts per game in March, this when he was getting to the line more than 10 times a game in October. There are enthusiasts of teen abstinence with less aversion to body contact. One can't help but conclude that the impending free agent is saving himself for (another) marriage.
"They're crowding the lane a lot more," Bosh said, explaining himself. But anyone who watches can tell you the defenses haven't changed, Bosh's approach has.
Perhaps he is opting for jump shots to limit his risk of injury with a $130 million (all figures U.S.) payday looming in July. But don't the Raptors, desperate to make the playoffs, deserve honest effort for the $15.8 million they are paying him this season? Perhaps he doesn't want to continue to expose the startling lack of explosiveness he's been showing in his rare sorties to the goal, what with the health of his brace-sheathed knees.
And what to make of Bosh's game-high five turnovers, which brought his tally of giveaways to 19 in the past four games?
"I have no idea. I turn the ball over, I turn the ball over," Bosh said. "I really don't pay attention to that statistic too much. I don't care."
It was nice to hear some post-game truth, at last. Denver's stars made plays. Toronto's star doesn't care about giving the ball away -- or, judging by the way he's playing, anything but his next contract.
O'Neal left in the first quarter after hyperextending his right knee.See?
"He's feeling OK but really none of us will know for sure until we get back to Miami and we re-evaluate," Heat coach Erik Spoelstra said.
O'Neal had to be helped off the court when he hurt himself in what appeared to be a non-contact situation after being whistled for traveling. He hopped awkwardly, took a half-step and fell to the court midway through the first quarter.
The entire team and coaching staff surrounded O'Neal while a trainer bent and stretched O'Neal's right knee. O'Neal walked gingerly to the bench and did not return.
Despite the Nyets news, the Bricks need some attention for how extremely thoroughly they got beaten down last night:Friday lacktion report: Despite his shock at New Jersey's victory, chris came through with tonight's mega lactivity update:
- Every Sun played, every Sun scored, every Sun except Dragic got at least 1 rebound (starters all got between 5 and 9).
- Channing Freaking Frye tied his season high for rebounds (11).
- The Suns (THE SUNS) out-rebounded New York 56-38 and shot 55% from the field (NYK: 38%).
- Earl Clark (who'd been shooting 36% from the field) made 3-of-4, with 3 rebounds and an assist in six minutes, being a barely above D-League player thus far this season.
- The Suns' defense held the not-shabby 101.6-points-per-game Kicks to under 100 points.
- The Suns scored at least 30 points every quarter.
- The score would've been higher if the Suns hadn't basically stopped playing with 2 minutes left, even going to the point of giving themselves a shot-clock violation when they got the ball with 25 seconds left in the game.
- Did I mention the Suns won by 36?
There was a really poetic justice to how well the bench played in this game, since Mike "Seven Players or Less" 'Antoni refuses to play a bench, and especially rookies (just ask Jordan Hill), and many fans consider this a big reason the Suns didn't go all the way.
- Nobody played more than 27 minutes, and nobody played less than 6. Most played about 20.
- The Suns' starters started coming out of the game with 6:33 left in the third, and were all out at 1:43. None returned.
- The very end of the bench (Collins and Clark) played half of the fourth.
- Mike had 3 starters (Gallinari, Lee, and Douglas) STILL IN THE GAME at the end of the 4th. They all came back in the game at about 6:20 left in the fourth, down by twenty-nine. "OK guys, go win it!"
Bullets-Bobcats: Fabulous Fabricio Oberto fabricated a brick in just 47 seconds to earn a garden variety Mario AND a +1 suck differential, the same suck score that Derrick Brown gave His Airness in 2:10 via foul.
Jazz-Pacers: Kyrylo Fesenko fouled once in 1:20 for a +1 that also earned a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl ratio.
Wolves-Magic: Damien Wilkins can now buy an autographed rookie card of his father's after a 3.9 trillion take (3:53), while Ryan Hollins countered a block in 5:33 with a brick and foul for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.
Hawks-Sixers: As the dirty birds found themselves grounded in Philly, Joe Smith bricked and fouled twice each in 3:34 for a 2:0 Voskuhl and a +4, while THE Mario West really likes blasting the fire flower on a regular basis, with a 17 second stint to earn his 5th Mario in ten days! For the Sixers, Jodie Meeks tossed one brick from Milord la Chamarre for a +1 in 3:16.
Nuggets-Raptors: Ty Lawson laid down a brick from the Eaton Centre as well as a foul in 3:13 for a +2 - the 200th player in the Association this season to earn a suck differential score!!!!
Kings-Celtics: Spencer Hawes charaded a pair of turnovers and fouls each against two boards and a free throw for a 4:3 Voskuhl in 7:46, while Joey Dorsey mouthed a tune in Mario Paint in just 26 seconds!
Pistons-Nyets: Ugh. TWO GAME WINNING STREAK FOR TEAM HOFFALAND? HUH!? THIS CANNOT BE.
Well, the only good thing about this was Kwame Brown living down to expectations with a 4:2 Voskuhl in 10:12 by neutralizing two boards with two fouls, two giveaways, and a brick.
Lakers-Thunder: Etan Thomas stupendously lost the rock twice, fouled once, and missed twice for a +5 in 3:56 that also counts as a 3:0 Voskuhl! In that same time period, teammate Kyle Weaver bricked once from (yay, I get to use THIS tired center-city meme AGAIN!) Bricktown for a +1.
Crabs-Spurs: In what apparently was Turn Back The Clock To 2007 Night (where the Crabs could only get to wading pool depth in Texas!), Jawad Williams pinched out a foul and brick in 3:39 for a +2, while Daniel "Boobie" Gibson (1.1 trillion/1:08) and Leon Powe (4.3 trillion/4:21) clawed the lock of a washed up treasure chest successfully!
When asked about a recent Rolling Stone article, which declared Kevin Durant better than Kobe Bryant, Monta Ellis raised eyebrows with comments of his own.He can't be serious. No, really. He cannot be serious...can he?! [Thanks to the anonymous commenter for the head's up.]
"I'm going to say LeBron James," Ellis said when asked about the league's three best players. "He can do it all, pass, score, defend, block shots. No. 2, I would have to say, me. I can do a whole lot of things: defend, score, make passes, do whatever I need to do.
"No. 1, I'd say Kobe Bryant. There isn't one player that can stop Kobe one-on-one. He has a lot of stuff. He can defend. And of course, he won four championships."
Jazz-Bullets: Othyus Jeffers jacked up a foul and giveaway in 3:24 for a +2 suck differential, while the fabulous Fabricio Oberto fouled once in 6:21 (despite an assist) for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.
Frail Blazers-Hornets: Jeff Pendergraph wired himself 3.65 trillion (3:40) this evening!
From ESPN Daily Dime:The Minnesota Timberpoops: I'll give the T-Poops this: They did themselves proud in coming back from a 25-point second quarter deficit to make the Suns sweat a little. Wait. Wait a tick. Minny tied a franchise record by losing their 16th game in a row, thereby surpassing the 15-game skid they suffered earlier this season. Okay, so go ahead and strike that "did themselves proud" part from the record. Damn, this team sucks.
SVG expressing some man love for J.J. Redick's butt:
"He was tremendous. What you have to know, and what see every day and appreciate, he is one of the best-conditioned guys in the league. He works his butt of year-round to be in great shape." -- Didn't know NBA players needed to get their butts in shape also. And SVG cherishes them.
"He usually gets no more than 24-25 minutes [but] you need him for 46 and he's able to do it." – Wow, talk about stamina...his butt is in shape, alright.
Nuggets-Magic: Johan Petro countered a field goal and board in 20:16 with 5 fouls and a giveaway for a 6:5 Voskuhl!
For Orlando, Brandon Bass played a low note in Mario Paint that lasted a whole 41 seconds!
Suns-Wolves: Jarron Collins made two boards in 10:41, but bricked once and lost the rock thricely for a 3:2 Voskuhl.
Spurs-Celtics: Garrett Temple may be the only man to lack it up for three teams this year, and appropriately he gave San Antonio a celebratory +3 suck differential in 3:19 by bricking once from Exchange Place and adding a foul and giveaway to the list as well.
Labels: Bawful After Dark